Will the real Hedge Ho please stand up?

Why do hedge fund men cheat so much? Or kill or commit suicide for that matter? I got some real insight to that by spending an evening with my old friend serial hedgie dater Tiffany. Assuming any of them have been through her claws, I completely understand the anguish.  Having not seen her for a little while i am forced to remember how human brain erases traumatic experiences. Kinda the way women are tricked  to giving birth more than once.

So she got me out with a promise of a fun strip club night and hot hedge hunks. Fair enough! Boy was i wrong..

I pick Tiffany up at her office and meet her boss Amos she’s currently trying to sink her teeth into. But so is a redhead few doors down, i learn and that’s why  Tiffany is taking him out tonight. I also learn how trashy and annoying Tiffany finds the named redhead. Well, what do you know, i guess your boss has a type, sweetie.

I thought ho’s were suppose to be fun. Instead this one called Tiffany here is making me realize I have super human powers – I’m able to survive exposure to Enormous Amounts of Passive Aggressive Energy. I wish i could change that super power into Temporarily Muting Bitches. Or Forever in case they’re fresh out of Temporarily.

Thankfully Amos is fun. And Juliette relaxes once we hit the club. She does a complete 180 actually and can’t stop staring at the dancers. It’s also loud, so she has to STFU. I was half expecting her to be the type to criticize and patronize every single girl but i have to give it her. She’s more into the scene than i am and only bitches at girls with fake boobs. But i assume that’s only ‘cos she doesn’t have any yet. I make a mental note for her Christmas present.

Well all this ogling is getting her alleged man into the mood of some serious partying and honestly i wouldn’t mind either. We leave the bottles and pros and head to skin party to get some real action and real people…maybe it won’t be such a bad night after all.

 

 

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