A former District of Columbia police commander whose unit escorted actor Charlie Sheen has said he plans to file a lawsuit, alleging he was demoted because he said such escorts were common.
You can read more about that from Reuters meanwhile check out some of Sheenious’s best quotes here :
• “It’s a war. And it’s on.”
• “They picked a fight with a warlock.”
• “I have one speed. I have one gear. Go.”
• “It was so gnarly I can’t remember.”
• “It was so gnarly I can’t remember.”
• “I honorably pass that torch to these young geniuses.”
• “I’m not ‘aw shucks’. Because I’m gnarly.”
• “The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.”
• “One of my favorite poets is Eminem.”
• “We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?”
• “If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”
• “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.”
• “Let’s hook up and just bring fiery death.”
• “I don’t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us.”
• “I’m a peaceful man with bad intentions.”
• “Duh, WINNING.”
• “I guess I’m just that goddamn bitchin’.”
• “Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my sabre.”
• “Mistook this rockstar, bro.”
• “Park your nonsense.”
• “Really dude? Really?”
• “I have a disease? Bulls***. I cured it with my brain.”
• “A lot of people think Major League’s called Wild Thing. As they should.”
• “I’m on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front.”
• “Go back to the troll hole where you came from.”
Charlie Sheen. Horse tranquilizers, midget prostitutes, cocaine pizza, or trashing a hotel room are just the few things you have to accomplish if you want to enjoy a lovely Saturday evening….. so I give you, an evening with Mr. Charlie Sheen.
First – Dinner With Your Ex.Wife & Expensive Escort
Just an ordinary weekend, out for dinner with your wife and a high end hooker. You enjoy your roast beef dinner as you all have a casual evening discussing world issues. Your all partially finished dinner when you excuse yourself to use the restroom. Nothing says “I’m on good terms with my ex” like public hooker sex while your ex-wife eats her dinner roll. Hey, at least you excused yourself….. You tip the towel boy in the mens bathroom to lock the door and wait outside, you finish being serviced in the mens stale when your wife orders dessert for you and your lady friend there.
An evening with Charlie Sheen wouldn’t be right if you didn’t get so hammered you find yourself naked in a random hotel room, rambling about shit that would only make sense to Charles Manson. If it isn’t the liquor talking, it’s definitely the cocaine making you speak in tongues. Normally you shouldn’t take advice from an escort, but she probably makes more sense than what the big bowl of blow is telling you. The booze and powder is fueling a lethal combination of anger you’ve always had for furniture, “you can’t tell me where to sit down chair!”, as you’re yelling at the very chair your smashing in the hotel room you can’t remember how you got to, that hooker is being a real party pooper. Calling security on you and all, so what the hell do you?. You barricade her in the closet, once she’s out of the way you can focus your naked attention on those tables next.
Third – Getting Arrested
Your wife is cool with your late night antics, why can’t the high priced escort be cool too. I mean, your wife really does you solid letting you bring a friend for dinner, she even checks up on you at night, with you replying through the door “everything’s just ‘hunky dory’ honey”. She even tweets about you two on her twitter account, “Denise Richards – Everything is hunky dory tonight!”. But that bitch from the service company you’ve put more stock in than Apple Computers rats you out. Apparently in the escort rule book, you can’t barricade them in a closet while you scream obscenities at them. The police eventually show up, assuming you’re filming an episode for “Two & a Half Men”, you stumble with your words, naked, covered in pizza crusts and cocaine, but somehow they let you go to the hospital.
Fourth – Smoothing Things Over
You wake up in the hospital, hearing these obscene rumours about you in a hotel room. You send a few texts out to reliable news sources calling them “overblown”, and “I know what went down and that’s where it will stay… under wraps.” Thinking everything is fine and dandy, you leave soon after with your family for a day at the “Mary Poppins and the American Girl Place” park. Your confused as to why you have to clarify your actions to people, this is is me. this is how I party, an evening with Charlie Sheen.